Here’re a few stray f**kin’ thoughts about that “Deadwood” movie those c**ksuckers at HBO finally f**kin’ put out for all of us regular b*stards to watch last month.
*insert Godzilla roar noise*
Man, if you think killing John Wick’s dog is a bad move, wait ’til you try killing him and also killing everyone he knows and also taking away his safe harbor.
What’s a Zhang Yimou movie without lots of color? Well…it’s “Shadow.”
This is “Us,” or: This is my piece on “Us.” This my piece on what happens when “Us” is given a second viewing and how the insanity and meaning packed into its ending fundamentally changes the experience of the film.
Real talk: I wrote this piece just so I could use the phrase “jerkin’ your flerken.” Don’t act like you don’t adore me for it.
Oh no look out spoooooooilerrrrrrrrrrrrrs. (C’mon, like you didn’t see any of this coming.)
Happy “Captain Marvel” weekend! In the first of Andy’s *three pieces* about the new Marvel movie, an appreciation for Brie Larson and her fondness of baked goods and weight training, and how all of that hard work (and not hard work) reflects on the screen.
Another piece about “The Magicians”? Gosh, it’s almost like Andy really, really, really likes this show or something, and will not stop writing about it for as long as it’s on the air. It’s like if he could give “The Magicians” a hug, he would. Weird.
In which I elaborate on the magical deliciousness of Irish horror, which isn’t quite magical and certainly isn’t delicious but is mostly just, uh…horrifying. And great. All of this courtesy of A24’s “The Hole in the Ground.”
“I’m one tough Gazookus / Which hates all Palookas / Wot ain’t on the up and square. / I biffs ’em and buffs ’em / And always out roughs ’em / But none of ’em gets nowhere.” Happy 90th, Popeye, you crusty ol’ salt.
Men are in the spotlight at this year’s Oscars, but not women, even though women directed the best movies of 2018 that happen to be specifically about men. Natch.
Paige, WWE Diva champion, made some history about eight years back in her main roster debut on WWE RAW. Now, Stephen Merchant has a film out about her. How does her story transition from ring to screen? Short version: Pretty well!
How do you make a sequel to a slasher-fied “Groundhog Day”? Watch “Happy Death Day 2U” to find out. How do you make a sequel to THAT? Well, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
You might like your Chris Pratt beefy or made of Lego bricks, but he’s at his best when he’s just playing huggy, lovable, cream puff doofuses.
Steve Soderbergh picks up an iPhone and in accordance with the words of the great Tarell Alvin McCraney, he puts together a movie arguing that pro sports and slavery aren’t that dissimilar as institutions. The results: Great.
For those of you who are not yet sick to the point of barfing from hearing Andy kvetch and piss and moan about how bad “Hereditary” is…here’s another piece where Andy kvetches and pisses and moans about how bad “Hereditary” is.
Brrr! Is it chilly in here, or is it just Mads Mikkelsen on a killing spree that’d put most slasher all-time body counts to shame? (It’s chilly in here. It’s January. But Mikkelsen still rocks.)