Turkey’s out, will’s out, knives out.
My editor came up with a really good title for this piece, and I’m very mad I didn’t figure it out for myself first. At least the piece itself isn’t too bad!
A movie that proves there is no justice in this world when all the wealth is in the hands of the unjust, so thank heavens for mass food poisoning.
Let me tell you: I had a real gas writing this piece. I trumpeted my enthusiasm the whole time I worked on it, no ifs, ands, or…buts. I can do this all day, by the way.
Ah, yes, “Ad Astra,” also known as “Brad’s Sad Dad Astra.” I thought this movie would be a Bad Astra. But it’s a Rad Astra! And I’m so Glad Astra.
The story of how a movie released 10 years ago gave a bunch of dudes with keyboards a free opportunity to tell on themselves. Also, it’s a real swell movie.
Writing this piece reminded me how hard it is to write about a film titled “It,” because, funny enough, “it” is a pretty commonly used word and that just makes everything confusing.
10 years after release, the source of “Inglourious Basterds'” enduring relevance isn’t Nazis; it’s Quentin Tarantino’s abiding love of the movies.
I nearly wrote my fingers to death typing the title of this movie for this article, so I damn well expect your clicks in exchange for my writerly suffering.
Here’re a few stray f**kin’ thoughts about that “Deadwood” movie those c**ksuckers at HBO finally f**kin’ put out for all of us regular b*stards to watch last month.
*insert Godzilla roar noise*
Man, if you think killing John Wick’s dog is a bad move, wait ’til you try killing him and also killing everyone he knows and also taking away his safe harbor.
What’s a Zhang Yimou movie without lots of color? Well…it’s “Shadow.”
This is “Us,” or: This is my piece on “Us.” This my piece on what happens when “Us” is given a second viewing and how the insanity and meaning packed into its ending fundamentally changes the experience of the film.
Real talk: I wrote this piece just so I could use the phrase “jerkin’ your flerken.” Don’t act like you don’t adore me for it.
Oh no look out spoooooooilerrrrrrrrrrrrrs. (C’mon, like you didn’t see any of this coming.)
Happy “Captain Marvel” weekend! In the first of Andy’s *three pieces* about the new Marvel movie, an appreciation for Brie Larson and her fondness of baked goods and weight training, and how all of that hard work (and not hard work) reflects on the screen.
Another piece about “The Magicians”? Gosh, it’s almost like Andy really, really, really likes this show or something, and will not stop writing about it for as long as it’s on the air. It’s like if he could give “The Magicians” a hug, he would. Weird.
In which I elaborate on the magical deliciousness of Irish horror, which isn’t quite magical and certainly isn’t delicious but is mostly just, uh…horrifying. And great. All of this courtesy of A24’s “The Hole in the Ground.”
“I’m one tough Gazookus / Which hates all Palookas / Wot ain’t on the up and square. / I biffs ’em and buffs ’em / And always out roughs ’em / But none of ’em gets nowhere.” Happy 90th, Popeye, you crusty ol’ salt.