I have 99 problems, and 12 mighty orphans are not one of them. Continue reading
Filed under Movie Reviews …
“‘Sound Of Violence’ Is A Gory Mess That Never Hits The Emotional High Note”
“Sounds” an awful lot like derivative, inventive, but empty cacophony to me, emphasis on the “phony.” (Zing.) Continue reading
“‘The Killing of Two Lovers’ Shoots Its Hollow Heartbreak Beautifully”
Hang on a second there – two lovers? In THIS ec– Continue reading
“Chino Moya’s Intriguing Debut ‘Undergods’ Feels Underbaked”
Indivisible, with liberty and first-draft movies for all. Continue reading
“‘Riders Of Justice’: Mads Mikkelsen & A Great Ensemble Lend Emotional Depth To This Revenge Thriller”
Copenhagen’s gone Mads, and the only person who can save it is…well, Mads. Continue reading
“The Paper Tigers’ Tight Action/Comedy Kicks Its Aging Martial Artists Into Gear”
The thing about paper tigers: They beat rock AND scissors. Continue reading
“‘Things Heard & Seen’: Rich Filmmaking & Strong Themes Amplify The Scares In Netflix’s Latest Horror”
I’ve heard and seen some reactions to this movie that I disagree with strongly! It’s a good movie! Continue reading
“A Movie So Bland, It’ll ‘Vanquish’ Any Interest or Curiosity”
A movie so bad I almost watched it twice just for my review. Continue reading
“‘Mortal Kombat’: This Joyless Cosplay Delivers Plenty Of Fatalities But Not Much Else”
File under “how could they possibly fuck this up / oh that’s how.” Continue reading
“‘The Banishing’: A Scary And Thoughtful Haunted House Movie”
You’ll want to banish yourself to Shudder to watch this movie right away. Continue reading
“This Is Not a Burial, It’s a Resurrection’ Is Not Merely a Good Film, But a Near-Perfect One”
Haha, gotcha, fooled ya, it IS a perfect movie. Continue reading
“Thunder Force’s Lame Superhero Comedy Continues Ben Falcone and Melissa McCarthy’s Losing Streak”
Ben Falcone married Melissa McCarthy and man, he has given a masterclass in riding coattails ever since. Continue reading
“‘F.T.A.’: Jane Fonda And Donald Sutherland’s Unearthed Anti-War Film Teach Us What Being Cancelled Really Looks Like”
Man, you think Dr. Seuss has it bad? Wait until you meet Jane Fonda. Continue reading
“We’ll Happily Watch BenDavid Grabinski’s Second Movie After Seeing His First”
I’ve not seen a film quite like this one in 2021, probably because only one film I’ve seen in 2021 was directed and written by BenDavid Grabinski. Continue reading
SXSW: Postscript Coverage
Well, THAT wasn’t as exciting as I hoped it would be. Continue reading
“‘Chaos Walking’ Stumbles, Trips, Faceplants”
Just gonna pat myself on the back for this headline, what a stroke of genius. Continue reading
“Anthony Hopkins’ Monumental Performance Dominates ‘The Father'”
The Father, the daughter, and the holy crap, dementia is a monster. Continue reading
“‘Allen v. Farrow’: A Scathing Indictment Of Woody Allen Is Also Terribly Heavy-Handed & Undermining”
So THIS is what it feels like when you half-trip a landmine and you’re stuck in the field waiting for someone to disable it. Continue reading
“‘Mauritanian,’ Maur Problems”
A new middleground in banal post-9/11 cinema, and we should all be grateful Tahar Rahim showed up for it. Continue reading
“There’s No Ghibli Magic In ‘Earwig and the Witch”s 3D Mess”
A movie so bad, I may need a break from Ghibli for a while. Continue reading
