“When a Filmmaker Sees Horror in Real Life”

Whether this counts as a review or not is sort of up to the beholder; I don’t think it’s review-ish, myself, but I wonder if it might read that way to others. Regardless, I approached writing about William Friedkin’s The Devil and Father Amorth from a more specific place. It’s mind-blowing to me to watch Friedkin, … Continue reading →

Review: Super Troopers 2, 2018, dir. Jay Chandrasekhar

I’m 33 years old and apparently liking Super Troopers and its sequel, Super Troopers 2, is a sign that I need to evaluate my taste and perhaps take a good, hard look at myself in the mirror. Honestly, it probably does say something about me that I still think dick and fart jokes are funny, but if … Continue reading →

“The Young Director Who Keeps Getting Compared to Quentin Tarantino”

Anytime a director takes a really worn-out formula or structure and freshens it up is a good time (more often than not). So Lowlife, a movie where a man in a luchador mask roughs people up for a sex trafficking, organ snatching sicko, is my kind of a thing, a clear descendant of the grimy, violent … Continue reading →

Review: Ghost Stories, 2018, dir. Andy Nyman & Jeremy Dyson

Nothing bugs me more than a horror movie that refuses to stick the landing when it counts. That’d be Ghost Stories. I’m basically paraphrasing the intro to my review, but I’m not sure what else I can say; you’ve got a movie about a guy with clear father issues who grows up and spends his life … Continue reading →

Review: Godard Mon Amour, 2018, dir. Michel Hazanavicius

Honestly? I can’t imagine a more useless exercise than making an airy biopic, one-part screwball comedy and one-part “great man” drama, about Jean-Luc Fucking Godard, if not because I find him repellent (even though I dig his films), then because Godard would probably definitely find the idea utterly useless. (Note: He called the movie a “stupid, … Continue reading →

“Finding The Tragedy in The Absurd: Talking Emir Kusturica’s ‘Arizona Dream’ and ‘Underground’”

A few weeks ago, thereabouts, my good buddy Oktay Ege Kozak and I sat down to record a new episode of The Playlist‘s Over/Under Podcast to talk about Serbian filmmaker Emir Kusturica and his bizarre-ass movies. To avoid pigeonholing the second of these two movies, Underground: Underground isn’t anywhere near as bizarre as Arizona Dream, the first of these … Continue reading →

“How Broken Lizard Came Up With The Infamous ‘Super Troopers’ Meow Gag”

I’m a fan of Super Troopers and I’m not ashamed of it, though damn if reviews of Super Troopers 2 aren’t going out of their way to suggest that people who like these movies are somehow unevolved or troubled. (Essentially: Fuck those reviews. Review the movie, not the people who like it, I mean shit, I grew … Continue reading →

“‘Rampage’ Is Smart Enough to Know It’s Dumb Fun”

I feel a tad weird going to bat for a big, dumb, early summer season blockbuster where The Rock is friends with a gorilla, and the gorilla mutates and supersizes after encountering Evil Science™ produced by Evil Corporate Scumbags™, and then The Rock and the gorilla fight a bat-wolf and a dino crocodile (which is … Continue reading →

“The 100 Best French Films of All Time”

I don’t hide my predilection for Italian cinema over French cinema, mostly because I’m comically loyal to my Italian roots and to the old “Italian and French folks don’t get along” stereotype, but I’ll let you in on a secret: I like French movies. I like them so much that my name appears a whole … Continue reading →

Review: Wildling, 2018, dir. Fritz Böhm

A little bit of inside Crump info™: I tend to rate on the lower side than the higher side for more movies than not (with certain recent exceptions). The reason for this tendency is none other than Rotten Fucking Tomatoes, one of my least favorite things to happen to film criticism since Cole Smithey, the … Continue reading →

Review: You Were Never Really Here, 2018, dir. Lynne Ramsay

A note: I rarely, if ever, use the word “masterpiece” in any material I output about films either recently released or yet to be released, because in most cases that’s a bullshit word used in bullshit contexts for bullshit reasons by bullshit people. Most often, you hear about masterpieces on the festival circuit before the … Continue reading →

“Over/Under Podcast Is Still Not Done Stanning For Animated Gem ‘The Breadwinner’”

Finally! I have words for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, not in print, but spoken aloud by my mouth; if you know me you know that I do not like this film very much because it’s awful, and I have enough awful movies in my life without being gang pressed into admiring one I find repugnant … Continue reading →

“Best of Criterion’s New Releases, March 2018”

Foreword: Volker Schlöndorff’s Baal made me want to throw up all over myself. I’ve sat through some truly ugly and thoroughly noxious films in my time, many of them more overtly hideous than this one, but boy oh boy, I cannot think of the last time I sat through an 80 minute film that felt this … Continue reading →

Review: First Match, 2018, dir. Olivia Newman

In its own modest, tasteful way, Olivia Newman’s First Match is a harsh watch, a movie loaded with social and political (and sociopolitical) messages that shouldn’t feel modern but do anyways. That’s 2018 for you. We’re still that country. The film leaves no trace of whiteness and makes no mention of whiteness (at least that I recall), … Continue reading →

Review: The China Hustle, 2018, dir. Jed Rothstein

I don’t pretend to have a mind for economic concepts. My review of Jed Rothstein’s The China Hustle is the first time I’ve ever felt free to use that as my hook, so I expect it reads more naturally than anything I’ve written on material in the same ballpark. Basically: If you think we’re out of … Continue reading →

“How Wes Anderson Sneaks Stop-Motion Animation Into Every Film He Makes”

I’ve written some stuff about Wes Anderson and stop-motion animation in the past, tied to Fantastic Mr. Fox back in 2009, so I guess it’s only right that I wrote some stuff today, in 2018, about Wes Anderson and stop-motion animation tied to Isle of Dogs, his new and super complicated movie about an island populated by dogs. … Continue reading →

“The Trouble With ‘Ready Player One’ and Its Easter Eggs”

Any of my readers out there who call themselves bettin’ types, you’re probably about to rake in a ton of cash: I didn’t care for Ready Player One. Shocker. A movie warped around 80s nostalgia – and around 90s nostalgia, and also random references to cool things from the last ten years – rubbed me the … Continue reading →