Divine provenance is great, but you know what’s better? Jester King’s provenance.
Imagine the song “Black Myself.” Imagine me, a white guy, singing “Black Myself” with the windows rolled down. Imagine me rolling the windows up because I feel like I don’t deserve to sing “Black Myself.” Anyways, good song.
They sent me cheesy movies / the worst they could find / and then I sat and watched them all / and I enjoyed myself just fine
More like “The Abominable Dr. Vibes,” y’know?
Happy Odin’s Day, here’s a piece that would’ve been better timed for Thorsday.
Hear me out: I really like crappy movies that aren’t crappy at all, because there’s no accounting for taste.
All I can say is that man, I really hope so.
Not only “LGBTQ”-gay, but happy gay, because I don’t know how you could hang out on their roof deck and not be happy.
(And also New York.)
“One thing about living in Six Mile Hill I never could stomach: All the damn vampires.”
Nothing to mend a marriage like a vampire bite and a mounting pile of corpses.
Not the kind you eat. In fact I’m still not 100% sure what melons have to do with [redacted] at all.
File under “the more you know,” because there’re a few things in here I certainly didn’t know.
First: Please everyone bow to Matt Patches, one of my editors, who made the .gif as the header for this piece. It is truly breathtaking. Second: Watch these movies! Yes, the final entry is an example of Andy fudging his own rules, but I wrote the fucking thing, and you’re not the boss of me. …
Well, THAT wasn’t as exciting as I hoped it would be.
What happens when a person doesn’t think their reality is their reality and that their actions have no consequences? Nothin’ good.
Someone said “hey, let’s put a Park Chan-wook film out on Blu-ray,” and I responded with “I will take a copy and write about it.”
A full tank is a happy tank, full tanks make happy brewers, and happy brewers make happy beer. Look, I don’t know where I’m going with this either.
So, I covered Sundance this year, from the comfort and safety of my couch, often wearing my PJs, frequently drinking a beer of my choosing from our fridge. In the loosest sense possible, I’ve “covered” Sundance before; here and there, I’ve provided spot reviews for movies that, i their release years, turned out to be …
Let me tell you about a guy named Justin Gott. First: He’s the host of a really fun podcast called The Rambling Ramblers. Here’s the pitch: Justin and his co-host, Pete Conway, pick a movie. It’s a movie Justin has not seen, but Pete has. Justin then sees the movie. They talk about the movie. …