“‘Chaos Walking’ Stumbles, Trips, Faceplants”

Just gonna pat myself on the back for this headline, what a stroke of genius. Continue reading →

“Urine for Bad News with ‘The Grudge'”

Hey, I’m just as shocked as you are that they went with my suggested headline, but life’s just full of surprises. Continue reading →

Review: Alien: Covenant, 2017, dir. Ridley Scott

First thing’s first: Here’s the link to my review of Alien: Covenant at Paste Magazine. Second thing’s, uh, second: Spoilers. I have to get some shit off my chest after the baffling defenses mounted in the film’s favor by some of the most respected names in contemporary film criticism, mostly because their defenses hinge on the … Continue reading →