“Scott Adkins’ ‘Max Cloud’ Features Some Of 2020’s Sharpest Gaming Criticism”

A strong contender for “best video game movie ever,” bless Scott Adkins. Continue reading →

“When ‘Rambo’ Was a (Relatively) Grounded Character Study”

The operative word here is probably “relatively,” because even the very first Rambo movie, which, of course, you know is called First Blood*, isn’t exactly “grounded” as in “realistic.” I suppose there’s some element of realism in the sense that a guy like John Rambo would probably be pretty hard to catch and nail down if he … Continue reading →

Review: xXx: Return of Xander Cage, 2017, dir. D.J. Caruso

  xXx: Return of Xander Cage is an incredibly stupid movie, but it’s an incredibly stupid movie that proves the value of incredibly stupid movies. You will not “turn off your brain” while watching it so much as your brain will forcibly shut down to avoid shaving off any of your precious IQ points; at … Continue reading →

Review: Big Game, 2015, dir. Jalmari Helander

“Big Game’s stelliform cast isn’t the only proof Finnish director Jalmari Helander has gone Hollywood. The scene that best evinces his Tinseltown transition plays out in the film’s first few minutes, in which one of the supporting players from Helander’s international breakout movie, the wonderful Yuletide-horror gem Rare Exports, gets mercilessly exploded in a wanton … Continue reading →

Review: Skin Trade, 2015, dir. Ekachai Uekrongtham

“It’s hard to tell if Skin Trade should be taken seriously. Because it’s a movie about sex trafficking that ends with a title card displaying sobering sex trafficking statistics, but it’s also a movie that stars and is co-written by Dolph Lundgren. This ambiguity is the film’s most plangent trait: long before we ever get … Continue reading →

Review: Taken 3, 2015, dir. Olivier Megaton

“Like 2008’s Taken and 2012’s Taken 2 before it, Taken 3’s meat-and-potatoes approach to filming action is about as basic as action filmmaking can be: no fancy pants martial arts tussles, no daring stunts, no gimmicks. There’s only growling, punching, and shooting, served upon a bed of collateral damage and suffused with car chases. Thus, … Continue reading →

Review: The Mechanic, 2011, dir. Simon West

Anyone who’s remotely acquainted with cinematic hitmen knows, or should know, that as a rule they’re often at best isolated and at worst emotionally destitute and cripplingly alone as they soldier along a path through life that’s solitary by nature. Unsurprising, maybe; hitmen, after all, deal in the art of killing for money, though rarely … Continue reading →

Movies That Matter: The Boondock Saints

There shouldn’t be any lead-in toward my feelings on this movie, so I’ll just say it: I absolutely loathe The Boondock Saints. Like, really, really hate it. It is not by any stretch of the means the worst or most incompetent movie that I’ve seen, but without a doubt one of the vilest and most … Continue reading →