Lots of Disney movies and Gareth Evans-inspired martial artistry all collide with one of the best hyper-violent action filmmakers working today. Plus: Joey King.
Ever? Yes, ever. I said it. You gotta listen to me.
If you want anything done right, including a “Blade 2” retrospective, you gotta do it yourself.
This movie kicks ass.
Momoa, more problems.
I cannot think of two words less-suited to follow one after the other, and also I cannot think of a movie title that conveys “ass kicking” better than this.
Do you have the urge…to purge?
The thing about paper tigers: They beat rock AND scissors.
A movie so bad I almost watched it twice just for my review.
File under “how could they possibly fuck this up / oh that’s how.”
Ah, Mel Gibson; always you wrestle inside me.
Time to update Urban Dictionary, folks!
If John Carpenter ever sees this movie, he will have to watch it through the tears in his eyes.
This is a movie, but also the epitome of a blockbusting year spent making overdetermined, obnoxious , totally disingenuous proclamations of feminine heroism.
Man, if you think killing John Wick’s dog is a bad move, wait ’til you try killing him and also killing everyone he knows and also taking away his safe harbor.
Brrr! Is it chilly in here, or is it just Mads Mikkelsen on a killing spree that’d put most slasher all-time body counts to shame? (It’s chilly in here. It’s January. But Mikkelsen still rocks.)
I watched just about every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie ever for this list, boys and girls and also adult men and women; you’re welcome. I did it, after all, for you, and also because yes, I like movies and specifically I like movies that have Arnold Schwarzenegger in them. (I’m not saying that Schwarzenegger movies are my lane; …
It’s all in the subject line: Rambo, the franchise, summarized. (There’s even a dismissive blurb about the Rambo kids’ show that no one likely remembers, which, honestly, that’s for the best.) I know we’re a ways out from Rambo V, but it’s never too early to do your homework, and there’s some homework to do on this totally nutty …
“Rambo.” There’s a blast-from-the-past name, right? Bet you weren’t expecting to hear about Rambo anytime soon, huh? Well: Too bad. Rambo’s coming back. Is that a plus or a minus? Depends on how you like your action movies; Rambo (2008) sticks to a pretty classic 1980s aesthetic of “white dude kills scores of brown dudes,” but …
“Enough already with Apostle pieces!” you say. “Ha ha ha! Deal with it, sucker!” says I, swinging my second article about one of my recent favorites, Gareth Evans’ new horror joint, right at your face. I didn’t get to write all of the pieces about Mandy, but lord I tried. I am now making up for that …