Gonna recycle my “raiser her, I hardly know her” Dad joke from my Letterboxd review, I’m that lazy.
For your consideration: Mia Goth, smiling like if she doesn’t, her face will crack apart.
Against expectations, this movie is not about any of my various trips to remote Vermont or Massachusetts breweries. Woulda been better if so.
Gonna hire a priest to exorcise this movie from my memory, hey-ooo.
Deceit in advertising! This movie is not desperate at all. It is in fact shockingly well-poised.
…yeah, maybe they shoulda stayed silent?
What’s buried should stay buried, or in the case of a certain Nazi bastard, torched to a crisp outside his bunker. Ah, well.
Not a “good” Samaritan; not a “bad” Samaritan; just a “wish it was better but I appreciate what it is” Samaritan.
But first, she had to be invented.
Vampire hunting, let me tell you, that’s a job that’ll suck you dry. You’ll work ’till set of sun. It’s a high stakes gig. Vampire pun.
Ladies and gents: Perry Blackshear, one of the best horror filmmakers working today, flying on stealth mode.
May I suggest that you vacation literally anywhere other than this movie? I may. And I will!
But up with this movie, way way way way way up with this movie.
An attack on one is an attack on all, at least in my neighborhood of our collective consciousness.
Lots of Disney movies and Gareth Evans-inspired martial artistry all collide with one of the best hyper-violent action filmmakers working today. Plus: Joey King.
A swing and a miss followed by three other swings and misses.
Ever? Yes, ever. I said it. You gotta listen to me.
Spoiler, I guess, but they’re technically “alright” compared to the adults in this movie.
In which one of the best films of 2021 is let down by its distributor, and then becomes one of the best films of 2022, but again, its distributor let it down.
Old lightning wit strikes again.