“Great Movie Moments in Farting History”

Let me tell you: I had a real gas writing this piece. I trumpeted my enthusiasm the whole time I worked on it, no ifs, ands, or…buts. I can do this all day, by the way. Continue reading →

“‘The Day Shall Come’ And The Myth Of The Black Nationalist Terrorist”

The day shall come! In fact, it already came! It’s done. It’s gone. You missed it. What the hell, why weren’t you paying attention for the day. Continue reading →

“‘Memory: The Origins of Alien’ Bears Abiding Fondness For A Sci-Fi Legend”

And now, we go back in time to an era of peak crime and the year of Three Mile Island, Voyager I and Jupiter’s rings, space shuttle orbiter Columbia, and the Iran hostage crisis; also the year of “Alien.” Coincidence? Probably. Continue reading →

“The Death of Dick Long Might Be So Profane It’s Profound”

I have exactly less than no idea how to talk about this movie without giving away its dark, disgusting, hilarious secrets. Continue reading →

“Paolo Sorrentino’s ‘Loro’ Is The Perfect Film For Our Lying Times”

A movie where a woman does a series of cartwheels in one scene, then smash cuts to her landing on a guy’s crotch in a totally different scene. Also a movie about Silvio Berlusconi. Now THAT’S Italian! Continue reading →

“Films by Women: Five Movies to Watch from September (2019)”

Darin’, you don’t need to give up on booksmarts if you want to be a hustler. You just have to remember that satanic panic is always in season. Continue reading →

“In Joe Begos’ Bliss, Meat Is Muse”

Waiter, Joe Begos got his splatter horror film in this examination of the artist’s enduring creative struggle. Not complaining! They’re tasty together. Continue reading →

“What ‘Ad Astra’ Reveals About Brad Pitt’s Relationship With His Dad”

Ah, yes, “Ad Astra,” also known as “Brad’s Sad Dad Astra.” I thought this movie would be a Bad Astra. But it’s a Rad Astra! And I’m so Glad Astra. Continue reading →

“‘Haunt’ Writers on Their ‘A Quiet Place’ Success and the ‘Crazy, Zany’ Script They’re Working On”

Nervous about talking to filmmakers whose last movie left you kind of cold? No problem, especially when their new one is pretty rad! Continue reading →

“‘Monos’ Is An Action Movie With An Unsettling Take On Civilization”

One of the best films of the year also has the most out-of-left-field gag about gummy bears of the year. Not that there’s much competition, but if there was… Continue reading →

Review: One Cut of the Dead, 2019, dir. Shinichiro Ueda

Remember when Amazon kinda sorta almost ruined this film by putting a pirated version up for sale on their site? And no, I am not bringing this up for any specific reason, no sir. Continue reading →

Issa López Brings Back the Darkness of Fairy Tales in “Tigers Are Not Afraid”

There’s about a 99% chance that tigers wrote the title for this film, but I’m not going to be the one to call them on it. Continue reading →

Review: A Faithful Man, 2019, dir. Louis Garrel

There are worse reasons to make a movie than to get two very lovely actresses to kiss all over your face, even when one is terribly age inappropriate and the other is your spouse. Ah, the French. Continue reading →

Review: Ms. Purple, 2019, dir. Justin Chon

Disclosure: Ms. Purple is not a hidden character from “Reservoir Dogs.” Figured you should hear that up front to spare yourself the disappointment. Continue reading →

Review: Love, Antosha, 2019, dir. Garret Price

I’m not the kind of guy who speaks ill of the dead, but that doesn’t mean I’m crazy about films made in their honor, either. Continue reading →

Review: Buñuel in the Labyrinth of the Turtles, 2019, dir. Salvador Simó

Annnnnd months later I still couldn’t tell you exactly what turtles have to do with this movie. Still good, though! Continue reading →

“The Cruelty Of Indifference”

I nearly wrote my fingers to death typing the title of this movie for this article, so I damn well expect your clicks in exchange for my writerly suffering. Continue reading →

“Lulu Wang Bids Farewell”

Lying about your grandma’s mortality seems like a bad idea, except when the bad idea ends up forming the basis of a really good movie. Continue reading →

Review: The Nightingale, 2019, dir. Jennifer Kent

A movie about the most vengeful bird of all! Also, genocide and sexual violence. Continue reading →

Review: Annabelle Comes Home, 2019, dir. Gary Dauberman

She’s home! Annabelle, she’s home! That’s…that’s really not good, whose home did she come to? Yours? Mine? Hopefully yours. Sorry, I want to live. Continue reading →