Here’s a tip: Instead of watching The Girl on the Train, go watch a better movie. Go watch a Brian de Palma movie. Go watch an Alfred Hitchcock movie. I would say “go watch Gone Girl,” but that’s too obvious, so how about don’t do that? It’s not that The Girl on the Train is bad; it’s that it isn’t as trashy as it wants to be or thinks it is, and half-assed trash is always worse than full-assed trash.
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